Sometimes people say the strangest things, even when they mean well or are trying to be encouraging.
For instance, has anyone ever said to you “Cheer up, it might never happen!” when you were worried about something? Or “Pull yourself together” or “Get a grip”? Did it help? No, I thought not – but people still say it.
So, how can you find your own motivation to change or feel better?
Or turn around a comment that’s had a negative effect on you? It’s all about making it positive.
Try these steps – and there’s an actual example of how this can really work after the steps:
Step 1: Identify what you want to change:
Be as specific as you can.
Step 2: Notice what prompted you to think about it:
Was it a negative thought, or an unhappy feeling?
Step 3: What is that thought or feeling telling you?
Is it saying what you don’t want? Or what you do want?
Step 4: If it’s saying what you don’t want:
Turn that thought around. Acknowledge what you want to stop or avoid, but then focus on what you do want. Be specific, and make a list of your new areas of focus.
Step 4: If it’s telling you what you do want:
Make it more specific, more defined, so you have a clearer idea of what you are changing or working towards. List it out, so you have something to refer to.
Step 5: Repeat these steps whenever you have a negative thought or need to boost your motivation.
You might not catch every negative thought you have at first:
But every one you turn around will help you feel better and more confident.
Here’s an actual example of how it works:
A client of mine was unhappy at work, but because the situation in the office had dragged on for a while, he had started to lose confidence.
He felt stuck in a rut and began to doubt his own abilities.
Changed his mindset
Identified his strengths, the type of work he enjoyed and the type of company he wanted to work in (and avoid).
Implemented the five steps when a negative thought or comment made him unsure.
All this gave him the confidence to re-do his CV and look for a new job, and then to go on interviews and get the job he really wanted – and deserved.
Now he’s happy – and you can be too.
Even if you can’t change a situation immediately, just having a clear idea about what you want and what you can do about it will make you feel better.
So give it a go. Try these steps and see how they can really work for you.
About Nicola Fox Dip. THP (N-SHAP)
I specialise in hypnotherapy and confidence coaching for professional people who want to achieve their full potential, either 1-2-1 or in a workshop environment.
For 13 years, I have enabled my clients to become more confident, self-assured and better able to achieve their goals. 1-2-1 packages are tailored specifically for each client, personalised to provide individual solutions for their issues.
I offer 1-2-1 hypnotherapy and group masterclasses, and am a professional public speaker.
I specialise in hypnotherapy and confidence coaching for:
• Fear of public speaking, presentations and interviews
• Imposter Syndrome
• Panic attacks
• Phobias and fears
• Weight loss & related issues
• Regaining confidence after a crisis – redundancy, divorce, bereavement, etc
Find out how hypnotherapy can help you.
Arrange your free, confidential 15-minute telephone consultation by going to the Contact Me tab at the top of this page.
I have hypnotherapy practices in:
• Liverpool Street, EC2 and
• Islington, N1