Just say “No” – and watch your confidence soar

Posted by Nicola Fox on January 09, 2019  /   Posted in Confidence Hints and Tips
Say NO when you need to or want to

It’s OK to say NO

Do you find it difficult to say “No”?

When other people ask you to do things for them that you don’t want to do, do you say “yes” even when you don’t want to?  Do you worry you will seem selfish?

If this is you, this confidence tip might feel a bit counter-intuitive at first – but stick with it and you’ll see what I mean.

To feel confident in yourself, and good about yourself, you need to make sure that what you are doing is right for you.

However, what’s right for you isn’t always what other people want you to do.

But if something is not right for you, it’s NOT selfish to say “No”.

Selfish is a very negative word in the English language, with its connotations of meanness, or being uncaring about others – but it’s important to remember:

Putting yourself at the centre of what you think and do isn’t selfish – it’s common sense.

Here’s an example:

If you are on an aeroplane, and the oxygen masks drop down, the instruction you are given is “Put your own oxygen mask on first”.  It’s not selfish, it’s practical  – it’s so you can help others as well as yourself.

In the same way, you can’t help other people be happy or improve their lives if you are unhappy and/or overwhelmed by their demands.

So the next time someone asks you to do something, stop and think about whether it’s a good idea FOR YOU, and whether you actually want to do it.

If you do, that’s great.

But if not, take a deep breath and say “No”.

The other person may be surprised, but they’ll understand and be OK with it because:

  • perhaps they thought you’d enjoy doing whatever it is – but when they know you won’t they’ll just ask someone else – OR
  • perhaps you saying “No” is inconvenient for them, so it might take a little longer for them to be positive about your reply, but they will accept it – after all, they don’t want to make you unhappy, do they?

And if the worst comes to the worst?  Perhaps there is a small chance they won’t understand and will get annoyed.  However, if that’s the case, do you want to waste time on someone who is only interested in you if you are a slave to their needs, even if it makes you unhappy? I think not.

It might feel odd for you the first couple of times, but the more often you do it, the easier it will become.

AND – You’ll have more time to do the things you want to do and help the people you want to help.

If you need some extra help, hypnotherapy is an effective way of raising your self-esteem and giving you the self-confidence to say “No” (or “Yes”!) to the opportunities that present themselves to you.

Find out how hypnotherapy could help you – click on the “Contact Me” tab at the top of this page and book your 15-minute free telephone consultation.

Remember, you are a unique individual with the right to use your talents and experience in ways that make you happy.

So, when you feel the need, just say “No”.


About Nicola Fox Dip. THP (N-SHAP)

I specialise in hypnotherapy and confidence mentoring for professionals who want to achieve their full potential, either 1-2-1 or in a masterclass environment.

For 13 years, I have enabled my clients to become more confident, self-assured and better able to achieve their goals.

I offer 1-2-1- therapy and masterclasses and am a public speaker on confidence and hypnotherapy.

1-2-1 packages are tailored specifically for each client, personalised to provide individual solutions for their issues.

I specialise in hypnotherapy and confidence mentoring for:

  • Anxiety
  • Confidence
  • Fear of public speaking, presentations and interviews
  • Imposter Syndrome
  • Motivation
  • Phobias and fears
  • Procrastination
  • Self-esteem
  • Stress
  • Weight loss & related issues
  • Regaining confidence after a crisis – redundancy, divorce, etc
  • Relaxation

Find out how hypnotherapy can help you.

Arrange your free, confidential 15-minute telephone consultation by going to the Contact Me tab at the top of this page.

I have hypnotherapy practices in:


  • Liverpool Street, EC2 and

East Anglia:

  • Ipswich, Suffolk

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