Who is your biggest critic?
Who can say things to you that you would not put up with from anyone else? You might be surprised at the answer, because it might be someone you would never have thought of – and it can really affect your confidence.
It’s not that nasty woman at work, or a man in the pub, or someone in your family – if you lack confidence it’s probably YOU.
You could be your own worst enemy.
Most of us have an “internal monologue”, like a personal narrator that comments and talks us through our day. In confident people it’s the voice that says “well done” when things go well, and “it’ll be OK, you can get through this” when things are tough.
In people who lack confidence, this “personal narrator” is still talking, but in a very different tone. Because in people who have low confidence or self-esteem, this voice is telling them they are stupid or shallow, ugly or unlovable. This narrator blames them for things that go wrong around them and dismisses success.
And the sad news is many people don’t even notice they’re doing it.
But you don’t have to be.
The good news is you can change your personal narrator’s tone whenever and to whatever you want it to be. Here’s what to do:
1. Notice the negative thought:
- How does it sound? Is it in your own voice, or does it sound like someone else
- What is it saying?
2. Choose a new voice for that negative thought to take away its power:
- Make it sound ridiculous or silly. You could try making it high pitched or squeaky, very fast or very slow – whatever works for you is great.
3. Make what it is saying positive:
- Make it say something you do want
4. Choose a positive, supportive voice for this positive thought:
- Again, whatever voice works for you is great – your own voice, the voice of someone you admire or an invented one.
5. Turn down the volume on the negative “silly” voice:
- This reduces the impact of the thought even more. Keep reducing it until you can’t hear it at all.
6. At the same time, increase the volume on the positive voice:
- This increases its importance and understanding for you.
It might take a little practice, but you’ll soon be able to shut that negative narrator down and turn your positive inner voice right up.
Remember this: You have enormous potential. How do I know? Because everyone does. I’ve been working with people to improve their self-confidence for 13 years, so trust me – I’m your confidence expert!
No-one can be you better than you – so it’s time to become your own best friend.
NB: Our internal monologue is not the same as hearing or seeing things that do not exist (visual or auditory hallucinations or delusions). If you are experiencing hallucinations or delusions, please go to your doctor as soon as possible.
About Nicola Fox Dip. THP (N-SHAP)
I specialise in hypnotherapy and confidence mentoring for professionals who want to achieve their full potential, either 1-2-1 or in a workshop environment.
For 13 years, I have enabled my clients to become more confident, self-assured and better able to achieve their goals. 1-2-1 packages are tailored specifically for each client, personalised to provide individual solutions for their issues.
I offer 1-2-1 therapy and masterclasses and am a public speaker on confidence and hypnotherapy.
I specialise in hypnotherapy and confidence mentoring for:
- Fear of public speaking, presentations and interviews
- Imposter Syndrome
- Phobias and fears
- Weight loss & related issues
- Regaining confidence after a crisis – redundancy, divorce, bereavement, etc
Find out how hypnotherapy can help you.
Arrange your free, confidential 15-minute telephone consultation by going to the ‘Contact Me’ tab at the top of this page.
I have hypnotherapy practices in:
Liverpool Street, EC2